She was a particular description of woman; he was fortunate to have found her.

Me:  I just can’t believe this guy.  Who behaves like this?

B:  He sounds like that guy on The Hills.

Me:  You watch The Hills?  Actually, I think the question would be better framed as: “You are aware that The Hills exists as a popular cultural phenomenon?  How did Lauren and Heidi manage to puncture through all of the medieval esoterica, Baudelaire translation, and compulsive watching of TED talks?”

B:  Ex-girlfriend.

Me:  Ah.

B:  Anyway, your ex sounds like that one guy on The Hills.  The annoying one.

Me:  Justin-Bobby?  Totally.  I think that’s why I dated him.  God, I live for Justin-Bobby.  If there was a channel that was only that kid going about his day, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, I would quit my whole life to watch it.  I’m not even joking around.

B:  No, not that one.

Me:  Not that show?

B:  No, not that guy on The Hills.  The other one.  The really annoying blond one with the flesh-colored beard.

Me:  Spencer!?

B:  Yeah.  Your ex-boyfriend is like Spencer.

Me:  Wow.  I think that is like the meanest thing you could possibly say about somebody.

B:  I tried.


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